Juan Manuel de Prada

Nicolás Gómez Dávila observed, “Nothing softens up the bourgeois more than a revolutionary from a foreign country.”[1] Truly the bourgeois abhors domestic revolutions because they leave a waft of smelly feet in the air; instead, he loves to embellish far away revolutions. From a distance, the storming of the Bastille may appear like a grand historical event in which the raiders wax eloquent and those liberated star in heroic deeds. Up close however the storming of the Bastille is nothing but a mob filled with cheap wine assaulting the local jail to free three or four miserable drunkards and some poor deranged soul who escaped the looney-house. But revolutions always turn against the bourgeois that embellished them. That is what happened to the British snobs of the 19th century who wrote treatises about the free determination of nations while hunting tigers in Bengal, and would end up watching horrified as vast India escaped their grip but not before they gorged their purses looting her at will.

In Spain our bourgeois threw a fit worthy of Linda Blair in The Exorcist when a few blokes with their bellies full of air and their heads stuffed with propaganda tried to stage a spring revolution by sitting at Puerta del Sol. Yet now they are moved to tears, possessed by some kind of democratic lust towards the Ukrainian chaps that staged a riotous destructive winter revolution, deposing presidents, organizing despicable parliaments, and cracking the bones of policemen. But the reason why our bourgeois despised the defeated revolutionaries of Puerta del Sol while at the same time are moved by the Ukrainian rioters, is also explained by Gómez Dávila: “Victorious revolutions have been outbursts of greed. Only defeated revolutions tend to be insurrections of the oppressed.”[2]

In this outburst of greed we now contemplate in the Ukraine we also discover another distinctive trait of the revolutions of old. The rank mob attacking the Bastille did not know that they were starring in “the storming of the Bastille” because history needed some time to sort the facts. Instead the zombies following the dictates of the warlocks of the CIA or Brussels, set up barricades in Kiev because they believe they are participating in a “historic event” as they were told by the newscasts, the inconsequential talk shows, the heavily misspelled twits, and all the other brazen sub genera of democratic propaganda. Thus in the Ukrainian revolutionaries we contemplate a behavior, a conduct, a way of acting and talking to the cameras typical of the “historic protagonists” even when they are poor saps that do not have any idea of who is pulling their strings.

Because we are not bourgeois we cannot approve of what is happening in Ukraine, because we know that all revolutions do nothing but worsen the evils they fight against. Neither we can overlook the prophecy uttered on a distant night of the 15th century by Philoteus of Pskov, surrounded as he was by the ancient solemnity of the Russian snow covered landscape: “Byzantium was the second Rome, Moscow shall be the third Rome.” May be that’s why the revolutionaries of the Ukraine, the cradle of Femen, want to move closer to the European Union, the theater of operations where Femen sluts often frolic around defiling churches. Of course they know that if they decide to desecrate temples in the Third Rome they will be deported to Siberia to keep company with their Pussy Riot buddies.

Translated by Carlos Caso-Rosendi


[1] Aphorisms of Don Colacho §1290.

[2] Aphorisms of Don Colacho §2135.